This year I entered the electronic jungle instead of going to the mega-mall in search of the perfect gift.
As it turned out, I discovered that online shopping is a trip in itself.
You would be surprised at what is out there. Here are some examples of the high quality items I was exposed to (warning, not all of these are suitable for children or liberal Democrats):
How about the perfect morning pick me up?
Toilet Mug (and that is not a description of anyone's visage)
Yodelling Pickle (Are you sick and tired of trying to teach your pickles to yodel? Pickles can be so stubborn)
Canned Unicorn Meat (Excellent source of sparkles!)
Bill Clinton Corkscrew (Pop your cork with Bill Clinton's generous talent)
Senility Prayer Stoneware Plaque Ornament (Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked.)
Sippie Wine Glass (A great gift for ageing wine drinkers)
The Hillary Nutcracker (The perfect partner for the Bill Clinton Corkscrew)
Genuine Squirrel Underpants (Squirrel Briefs For squirrely lawyers?)
Girl Squirrel Underpants (We don't discriminate when it comes to squirrels)
Runny Nose Soap Shower Gel Dispenser (Ugh)
And last but not least,
Nunzilla (Say your prayers, Catholic school survivors!)
Now get back to your lessons or I will sic Nunzilla on you!