Wednesday, July 22, 2015

“Ethical Non-Monogamy.”

The title to this post comes from a Washington Post article, "Are new dating apps killing monogamy? Or has it always been dead?" It appears that current sexual ethics say that you can have your cake and eat it too as long as it sounds right to you which is not too far removed from that 1960's slogan, "If it feels good, do it!"
In 2010, Jessie approached her husband with an idea she called “ethical non-monogamy.” They would stay together as each other’s primary, lifelong partners, but they wouldn’t rule out other relationships — as long as they happened openly. Jessie has shown her husband her profile on several dating sites, including Open Minded. When she returns from her weekly date with one of her four extramarital partners, she tells him as much, or as little, as he likes.  
Publicly, no one knows about this arrangement. (It’s why we have agreed to just use her first name in this story.) Jessie doesn’t plan to tell her children, though she could see it coming up one day. She and her husband still have sex, still go to social functions, still celebrate anniversaries. 
But that whole thing about “the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law . . . so long as he liveth”? To that, Jessie says no thanks.
 Jessie has some advice: Talk to your partner about monogamy. Listen “without judgment.” Keep, in all cases, an open mind.
“Whichever it is, make a real choice,” she said. “We’re told we only have enough love for one person. Does that sound right to you?”

I have some advice for Jessie. Before she eats that cake, she should mark and inwardly digest the words of Jesus,
"Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,  and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19)

8 comments:

  1. This is what happens when people only half-read the Bible. That said, it also results from woeful sermons from clergy who speak of being 'nice' instead of leading a life according to Scripture.

    There are many like Jessie in the world who do not realise what they are doing.

    Good post. Have a great week.

    Churchmouse

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    1. Pickin' figs as we speak.

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    2. Ha! Love it!

      I say that with reference to my recent posts and your helpful comment.

      Figs are my favourite fruit, especially steeped in syrup.

      Churchmouse

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  2. (It’s why we have agreed to just use her first name in this story.) If you can't tell your children what you are doing, what are you going to say when they find out?

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    1. Explain who the daddy might be?

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    2. But will they care?

      We probably care more than they do, sadly.

      Churchmouse

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  3. This is big fig picking time for us too. My wife turns them into "fruit leather" with the dehydrator. Figs have a very short shelf life.

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    1. We usually make faux-strawberry preserves, but I once convinced the cooks to make faux-apricot preserves too.

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