Euphoniumisms

Today we were treated to sweet sounds from many directions. Bryan McGill gave a fine performance on the Euphonium, Charlie gave a short sermon, the youth gave a presentation on their mission trip, Charlie gave an additional sermonette on the love-in at Lambeth, and the congregation sang an offertory anthem that was sung by the Bishops attending Lambeth. We were also treated to another bulletin insert describing the Lambeth Conference (read it here), this one printed on lovely pink paper. Never mind that this one was intended for June 29.

Repeat after me, "All is well, all is well..."

It is too early to come to any conclusions, but it should come as no surprise that the Lambeth Conference will not be particularly newsworthy. This is all by design as the bulletin insert tells us,

"...the 2008 Lambeth Conference should not be focused on reports that nobody reads and resolutions that nobody pays attention to unless they are used to divide us one from another."

Oops, some mean spiritedness sneaked into the bulletin insert.

Also a little dig here,

"Those who are looking to Lambeth as an arbitrator of all things Anglican will not be pleased with the new design of the Lambeth Conference."

Nyahhh, nyahh...
With all this love and affection, why does the press hover about like vultures waiting to feed on a dying animal? The press has a sense that something is wrong with the Anglican Communion. They can smell the decay and are hoping to get a headline grabbing picture. Ignore them. We in the pews should listen only to the euphonics. Don't listen to anyone telling you that Lambeth 2008 is a big cover up for the difficult to resolve problems of how we can live in Christian fellowship while proclaiming wildly different gospel messages. Expect more sweet sounds to fill your ears in the next weeks. All is going according to plan. The end result of Lambeth 2008 as far as the Episcopal Church USA is concerned had already been written once the format was announced. The natives will be lulled to sleep, and then we can really pull the wool over their eyes at General Convention 2009 by using the same technique of Indaba groups and agenda control. Oh, there I go again assuming some evil purpose...

Picture fromThe Register

I can hear the Dark Lord now,

"All is well. The liberal agenda can proceed as planned young Pew-walker. After all, you will not hear anything at Lambeth 2008 to change your destiny."

or

"No newis is bettir than evill newis."

(King James I, 1616)

And of course, the lectionary helped us to hear no evil by omitting the devilish part from the following verses from Matthew 13:34-40.5,

34 "Jesus told the crowds all these things in parables; without a parable he told them nothing. 35 This was to fulfill what had been spoken through the prophet:*
‘I will open my mouth to speak in parables;
I will proclaim what has been hidden from the foundation of the world.’*
36 Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples approached him, saying, ‘Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.’ 37 He answered, ‘The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; 38 the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom; the weeds are the children of the evil one, 39 and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are angels. 40 Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire,'"

But give May Kat credit for reading this much of the optional bit,

"'...so will it be at the end of the age. 41 The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, 42 and they will throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'"

But, the rest was drowned out by the euphonium of the p.c. church police,

43 "'Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears* listen!'"

(From reggie.net)

If all you keep hearing is "All is well, all is well..," it may be time to silence the euphonium, unplug your ears, open your eyes, and use your voice.