My answer, "Yikes, that's my denomination!"
If that is enough to make you want to run for the hills, here is a little quiz for you that purports to give your feet a little direction:
Free Denomination Selector
I took the quiz after seeing the link on Churchmouse Campanologist , and guess what I found.
What may come as a surprise to some, my top denomination came out to be Episcopal/Anglican at 100%. Does this mean I am stuck with John Shelby Spong? One must understand that this quiz was developed in 2001 before +VGR, before SSB's, before the departure of ACNA, DSC, etc., but not before the ministry of Bishop Spong. So I think the problem for the denomination seeker using the "Free Denomination Selector" is that there are alot of Episcopal churches out there that do not believe in the physical resurrection of Jesus, do not believe in a literal Heaven and Hell, do not believe that salvation can only be found through Jesus Christ, etc. I could go on and on with my responses that are in conflict with a church that would give Bishop Spong pulpit time. If this on-line test had guided me to St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Richmond, Virginia this Friday, I would have felt like I did when my college room-mate once talked me into going on a certain blind date.
How might a seeker who does believe in the physical resurrection and does not believe in SSB's find an appropriate Episcopal/Anglican church? I am sure that not all Southern Baptist churches are the same either, and someone (in a small southern city like ours) who looks like a good match with the Southern Baptists according to the Denomination Selector might face a bewildering array of congregations from which to chose.
So here's a suggestion to all you entrepreneurial types out there, why not come up with a church matching web site like the popular dating web sites? I think such a site would give individual pastors, priests, churches, sects, cults, covens, a chance to input their unique set of quirks, passions, beliefs, non-beliefs, heresies, or whatever, into an algorithm that will match potential visitors to a particular church in their geographical area. This would reduce the amount of time wasted on church shopping expeditions as well as reducing the time clergy would have to spend explaining their beliefs and practices to newcomers.
In case you are interested, here are the rest of my rankings.
2) Methodist/Wesleyan Church (98%)
3) Evangelical Lutheran Church (90%)
4) Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (90%)
5) Mennonite Brethren (85%)
6) Assemblies of God (78%)
7) Church of Christ (78%)
8) Free Will Baptist (78%)
9) Orthodox Quakerism (78%)
10) Seventh-Day Adventist (78%)
11) Southern Baptist (70%)
12) International Church of Christ (65%)
13) Presbyterian Church USA (65%)
14) Presbyterian Church in America/Orthodox Presbyterian Church (65%)
15) Reformed Churches (65%)
16) Eastern Orthodox Church (63%)
17) Reformed Baptist (58%)
18) Roman Catholic Church (58%)
19) United Pentecostal Church (58%)
20) Mormonism (38%)
21) Liberal Quakerism (28%)
22) Jehovah's Witness (18%)
23) Unity Church (8%)
24) Unitarian Universalism (0%)
To give you some idea of how far under the radar we Anglicans are, here is the "Denompie":
Even the Oriental Orthodox have a bigger piece of the pie than Anglicans.