A Wandering Pewster I

My oldest friend, Wallace Hartley, has been following my personal situation and sent me his spin on things with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan's "A Wandering Minstrel I" from "The Mikado".

A wandering pewster I —
A thing of lowly aspirations,
For hymns, anthems, and sermons,
Some loved and some endured.
My catalogue is complete,
Though my passion was raging,
With each doctrinal changing
I just shifted my tired seat!
I just shifted my tired seat!

Are you in a sentimental mood?
I'll sigh with you,
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
On priestess' coldness do you brood?
I'll do so, too —
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
I'll charm your willing ears
With blogs of Anglican fears,
While sympathetic tears
My cheeks bedew —
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!

But if evangelistic sentiment is wanted,
I've  hymns and prayer books true and tried;
For where'er our pewsitters' rear may be planted,
The false teachers are defied!
Then new pewsters, in serried ranks assembled,
Will ever share the Gospel News
And I shouldn't be surprised if 815 trembled
Watching the mighty troops leaving the pews.

(Chorus:)
We shouldn't be surprised if 815 trembled
Trembled with alarm
Watching the mighty troops leaving the pews.

(Pewster)
And if you call for the Holy See,
We'll heave the thurible round,
With a yeo heave ho, for the incense is free,
Her chain's a-trip and her censer's a-fire,
Hurrah for the Tiber bound!

(Chorus:)
Yeo-ho — heave ho —
Hurrah for the Tiber bound!

(Pewster)
To sit quietly as the revisionist priest
Tickles the congo's taste,
But the happiest hour a pewster sees
Is when he's found
Amongst a faithful crowd,
With his Bible in his hands, yeo ho!
And his knees firmly on the ground!

(Chorus:)
Then man the pews — off we go,
As the thurifer swings us round,
With a yeo heave ho,
And a boat boy below,
Hurrah for the Tiber bound!
With a yeo heave ho,
And a boat boy below,
Hurrah for the Tiber bound!

Yeo-ho, heave ho,
Yeo-ho, heave ho,
Heave ho, heave ho, yeo-ho!

(Pewster)
A wandering pewster I —
A thing of lowly aspirations,
For hymns, anthems, and sermons,
Some loved and some endured.

(Chorus:)
Some loved and some endured
A teary eyed goodbye,
Goodbye! Goodby!