There Will Be Irreconcilable Differences

Jesus never said it was going to be easy, as this Sunday's reading from Matthew 18:15-20 demonstrates,

"If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them."

Conflict between members of the church is predicted by the Lord, and Jesus sets out a seemingly simple process through which to address conflict due to sin.

In researching these verses, I have found that people really do make things more complicated than Jesus intended. When they try to apply these principles to public disagreements or to dealing with secular, non-Christian folks and issues, all kinds of problems ensue.

"The New Testament is a plain book designed for plain people. The gospel is to be preached to the poor and simple who are as capable of receiving it as the wise, and in some sense more so."
--John Newton, Letters of John Newton (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1869/2007), 202.

What constitutes a sin against a plain individual? These days one could claim that anything that offends another person is a sin. Look no further than the way people are pilloried in public on Twitter or Facebook for committing the sin of expressing their opinions when those opinions offend the zeitgeist.

This hyper-offendedness is present everywhere. If you think about it, there is no way we can even get through coffee hour without offending someone. Maybe we neglected to greet them, perhaps we glanced at our watch while they were speaking, or maybe we didn't scarf up the cheese puffs that they had brought as a snack. These don't seem like much, but they can cause resentment in sensitive individuals, and some people take offense at anything. What are we to do when the uber-sensitive  don't accept our apology? I once read a book that examined the many different ways people expect to hear an apology. If someone doesn't hear the words of apology said the way they prefer, guess what, you have caused more offense.

I think Jesus was talking about much more serious sins than just our hurt feelings. Things like stealing, bearing false witness, adultery, and others, you know, the real game breakers in a church.

This is why treating false teachers is dealt with in such a different manner in the Bible.

Certain disagreements in church practice are not handled in a calm, polite, systematic Matthew 18 manner. Remember how Paul took down Peter,

Now when Peter had come to Antioch, I withstood him to his face, because he was to be blamed; for before certain men came from James, he would eat with the Gentiles; but when they came, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing those who were of the circumcision. And the rest of the Jews also played the hypocrite with him, so that even Barnabas was carried away with their hypocrisy. But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, “If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews?” (Galatians 2:11-14)

You cannot be reconciled with a false teacher until they repent. Peter needed to be confronted.

Nobody ever accused Paul of being reserved, and I suspect the way he settled a dispute would be considered offensive by today's church leaders like the Archbishop of Canterbury who considers reconciliation to be his strength.

So there will be conflict, but the way of conflict resolution can be more complicated than it should because while it takes two to tango, it takes two or more to untangle, and with humans involved there will be times when you just can't reconcile differences, and that is the time to treat the irreconcilable as someone who is unconverted, like a first century Gentile, in need of the healing power of Jesus.