Another One Leaves the Church

A sad day for the Church of Our Saviour as we read this letter from the Stringers:

"Dear Fr. Foss, Fr. Dunbar, Vestry Members, and Church Friends,

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing to you on the matter of our family’s decision to no longer attend and financially support Church of Our Saviour as of March 1, 2008. My hope is that my explanation coupled with our family’s decision may be a catalyst for some ‘ultimate good’ for COOS. So I ask for your patience and I thank you for your time to read and discern this email.

Kati and I were raised as cradle Episcopalians – baptized, confirmed and married in the Episcopal Church – and our children follow in this heritage. Though we have chosen to reinvest in a church of another denomination, we do not intend to exchange our Episcopal ‘roots’ for another. Therefore as a matter of church business, we will not be transferring our membership, but becoming inactive on the COOS roll. We are Episcopalians and will always be regardless of the “church” we attend.

Our decision to leave boils down to several related factors which I believe are “brutal facts” that the Clergy and Vestry must face in order to “right the ship”:

Lack of leadership and direction from the Clergy
Lack of development in the youth program
Lack of retention of young families and their financial support

After years of involvement with the youth, various committees and even Kati serving on the Vestry for a year, we have come to the conclusion that our family’s immediate needs for spiritual development can’t be put off while COOS continues to focus on its languishing financial doldrums. It appears that COOS’s Clergy is caught in a vicious cycle that “the parish isn’t paying for the services they get now” (commented to me several times) and therefore the answer is first more money and then more “services”. For our family just the opposite is reality, money follows services. The response to the annual budget shortfall and subsequent call for a short-term financial fix, became the “straw” that broke our families desire to further invest our time, talent and treasure.

The spiritual “product” of COOS isn’t adequate or acceptable for young families like ours. Beyond the Sunday Liturgy, there is little offered to minister to the needs of young families. In our own experience, Kati and I have offered numerous ideas and a willingness to start programs like Alpha, Financial Peace and others, all of which were meet with lackluster clergy support. In our opinion, too much of the leadership and development of the church is forced upon the Vestry and congregation and not enough from the Clergy as “spiritual leaders” – the shepherds of the flock.

What brings in young families initially is their primary focus, their children. The youth programs of the church bring them in and then young family programs keep them (and their money). After a year of service, Mary Cat’s primarily focus isn’t on building a youth program; the very reason the parish supported her hiring. People notice and lose hope that these programs will come to fruition. This is what we have concluded. The litany of other young families that have left is long and alarming and only underscores this reality. The Clergy, not the Vestry, must reprioritize Mary Cat’s direction and give her the latitude to build a true Youth Program. Anything short will produce the same results we have today.

Finally, much to the chagrin of the Clergy, the leadership of the church must come from the head of the church, not the vestry, and not the congregation. The leadership of the church (not unlike any company, organization or group) must provide the vision, the direction and energy. I believe when people are given a vision or a goal they can believe in, they will follow. As examples, look at the accomplishments over the past few years: Faith Alive, the Year of Renewal, the Youth Mission Trip, hiring of Mary Cat, and the Restoration Project. All these great accomplishments came with vision, direction and energy and they were successful beyond what we expected. COOS must be operated in the same way to realize its potential. It can’t be a church of “_the next fund raiser_.”

After the congregational meeting last month, I went through my own discernment to run for Vestry. Through this process, I considered whether we needed new leadership in our Clergy. After many discussions and prayerful consideration, I do not believe new leadership is the answer, but realization of leadership. Charlie, you have an opportunity to lead the congregation through your retirement and transition COOS to a new rector on your timetable—be that 5 years or 10. If the tough decisions are made, and a vision of the future comes from you, your flock will follow. For me, my compulsion to be an agent of change would have taken time away from my own spiritual needs, my family and my business. Ultimately, I choose these things over COOS and Kati and I came to the conclusion that we needed to find a place that reached our children and supported our struggles as parents, husband and wife and the people we want to be. We are saddened that we could not find those things at COOS and we hope and pray to stay in contact with the friends we have made.

Thank you.

DCS

David Copp Stringer"

Used with permission, UP

A Survey We Would Like to See

Don't hold your breath waiting for your vestry to ask these questions, but this is my version of a Baylor poll that was analyzed on T19 for the very small number of Episcopalians in the survey. Click on the title to read the analysis.

Feel free to print this up and present it to your vestry.

1. How do you describe yourself regarding religious issues
a. Liberal
b. Conservative
c. Moderate
d. None of the above

2. Which one statement comes closest to your personal beliefs about God?
a. I have no doubts that God exist
b. I sometimes believe in God
c. I believe in God, but with some doubts
d. I believe in a higher power or cosmic force and not the God of the Bible
e. I don't believe in anything beyond the physical world

3. Which one statement comes closest to your personal beliefs about Jesus
a. Jesus is a fictional character
b. Jesus probably existed, but he was not special
c. Jesus was extraordinary person/wasn't messenger of God
d. Jesus was one of many messengers or prophets of God
e. Jesus is the son of God
f. I have no opinion or am unsure

4. Which one statement comes closest to your personal beliefs about the Bible
a. It means exactly what it says/should be taken literally
b. It is perfectly true, should not be taken literally
c. The Bible contains some human error
d. The Bible is an ancient book of history and legends
e. I don't know

5. How often did you participate in the following religious activities last month - Prayer meetings
a. Not at all
b. 1-2 times
c. 3-4 times
d. 5 or more
e. no response

6. About how often do you pray or meditate outside of religious services
a. Never
b. Only on certain occasions
c. Once a week
d. A few times aweek
e. Once a day
f. Several times a day
g. No response

7. Outside of attending religious services, about how often do you read the Bible
a. Never
b. less than 1-2 times a yr
c. Several times a yr
d. 2-3 times a month
e. weekly
f. daily
g. no response

8. How often do you attend religious services?
a. Never
b. less than 1-2 times a yr
c. Several times a yr
d. 2-3 times a month
e. weekly
f. daily
g. no response

9. How important is it to do the following.. in order to be a good person convert others to your religious faith
a. Very
b. Somewhat
c. Not very
d. Not at all
e. No response

10. How often did you participate in the following religious activities last month -Witnessing/sharing your faith with friends
a. Not at all
b. 1-2 times
c. 3-4 times
d. 5 or more times
e. No response

11. How often did you participate in the following religious activities last month - Witnessing/sharing your faith with strangers
a. Not at all
b. 1-2 times
c. 3-4 times
d. 5 or more times
e. No response

12. How do you feel about abortion in the following circumstance... The woman does not want the child
a. Always wrong
b. Almost always wrong
c. Only wrong sometimes
d. Not wrong at all
e. No response

13. How do you feel about abortion in the following circumstances... The family cannot afford the child
a. Always wrong
b. Almost always wrong
c. Only wrong sometimes
d. Not wrong at all
e. No response

14. How do you feel about the following... Embryonic stem cell research
a. Always wrong
b. Almost always wrong
c. Only wrong sometimes
d. Not wrong at all
e. No response

15. How do you feel about the following... d. Physician-assisted suicide
a. Always wrong
b. Almost always wrong
c. Only wrong sometimes
d. Not wrong at all
e. No response

16. How do you feel about the following marriage and family related issues... b. Living with a partner before marriage
a. Always wrong
b. Almost always wrong
c. Only wrong sometimes
d. Not wrong at all
e. No response

17. How do you feel about sexual relations in the following circumstances... c. With someone other than the marriage partner
a. Always wrong
b. Almost always wrong
c. Only wrong sometimes
d. Not wrong at all
e. No response

18. How do you feel about sexual relations in the following circumstances... b. Between two adults of the same sex
a. Always wrong
b. Almost always wrong
c. Only wrong sometimes
d. Not wrong at all
e. No response

19. How do you feel about the following marriage and family related issues - Divorce
a. Always wrong
b. Almost always wrong
c. Only wrong sometimes
d. Not wrong at all
e. No response

20. In the past year did you...write, call, or visit a public official
a. Yes
b. No

21. How important is it to do the following.. in order to be a good person; a. Actively seek social and economic justice
a. Very
b. Somewhat
c. Not very
d. not at all
e. No response

22. How important is it to do the following.. in order to be a good person; Take care of the sick and needy
a. Very
b. Somewhat
c. Not very
d. not at all
e. No response

The Shady Lady

Today's sermon took off from the story of the Samaritan woman, dropped a couple of bombs, deviated from course quite a few times, missed a few good landing strips, but finally delivered our fearless crew home. Thank you "Shady Lady." I knew we were in trouble when I noticed that our co-pilot and navigator were absent from church today. Charlie had to fly solo, which would have been okay if the passengers had been given parachutes so they could have bailed out sometime before the second in-flight refueling. In fewer words, the sermon was toooooo long. Granted, today's lessons are full of wonderful material for discussion, but after the first 12 minutes, even the most disciplined crew loses focus. By the time the second 12 minutes have gone by, mutinous thoughts become manifest by irritated sounds, restless legs, furtive glances at wristwatches, or reading the bulletin.

Enough on the length, what about the bombs? Charlie started by teling us that there were important lessons for the reader whenever those around Jesus are presented as "Dum Dums" (I once was called to the carpet for using that descriptive in the work place)then he proceeded to tell us why we need to be educated. The inappropriate words "The child needs to learn not to put his finger in the asp hole" certainly woke us dum dums up. I felt like the Samaritan woman at that point. As if to read her thoughts, "Is this person really talking to me this way and what does he mean? All I wanted was a drink of water. After all, I had a rough night."
I think if Charlie wrote out his sermon instead of wingng it, he could have chosen "Don't go poking a stick into a snake pit" as a better choice of words.

The sermon scored hits when focusing on God's love for all of us sinners. The sermon was off target when Charlie's told us of the veneration of the Samaritan lady as the "First Evangelist." Since Jesus did not shake his finger and say "Get away from me you horrible woman" or even say, "Go and sin no more," this may have seemed to indicate Divine acceptance of the Samaritan woman's lifestyle. I don't think you can read lifestyle acceptance (approval) into these verses. To me the story shows how one can engage with the sinner, drink with, or dine with the sinner as a ministry. As you do they may open their eyes and hear the Word. Jesus does this time and time again to the consternation of those around Him.

Perhaps this is an argument that should be considered by those deciding to attend Lambeth: Engagement does not mean acceptance, except most of us Dum Dums in the world can't help but see it that way and will need some explanation.

Born Again and again and again....

Poor Nicodemus... he just couldn't seem to understand what Jesus was talking about in the "Born again" Gospel reading which was today's subject for Mary Cat's sermon. Mary Cat correctly pointed out that we have the benefit of hindsight (as well as the honor of living in the Bible Belt) which gives us proven examples of people who have been born anew in the Spirit, the example of Paul, the Saints, to name a few. But, there are some bits of this born again stuff that are still not clear.

1. What happens to that wonderful feeling of communion with God you have when reborn? Taken out of context C.S.Lewis said "No feeling can be relied on to last in it's full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last, but feelings come and go." (The Four Loves p 169).

2. If you are born again, are you born as a finished product? If not finished, what term should we use for the rest of the process? Continuous rebirth sounds like continuous revolution or permanent revolution which does not work for me. (If you try to read the Marxist drivel on the link in the title, you will see that you will be more confused after being born again as a Marxist than you were when you were a mere capitalist.)
My point is this, being born again is not the end all and be all. You are born anew as a baby Christian. How do you get to be a mature Christian, or is that an unobtainable goal? Most of your life will be spent slugging it out on a spiritual journey. Back to C.S. Lewis, "He knows perfectly well that your own efforts are never going to bring you anywhere near perfection. On the other hand you must realise from the onset that the goal towards which He is beginning to guide you is absolute perfection; and no power in the whole universe, except you yourself, can prevent Him from taking you that goal. That is what you are in for." (Mere Christianity, 203).

How do we in the Episcopal Church support people in the prenatal, postnatal, infant, adolescent, teenage, young adult, middle age, and old codger stages of Christian development? It is a formidable task, but I think if we hark back to C.S. Lewis and stick with things that last, Knowledge, Principles, and Habits, then we will not be guilty of leading anyone to stray from God's path towards perfection.

The Temptations

I am tempted to complain about the length of today's sermon. I know we deleted the Psalm and the reading from Paul in order to shorten the service so we would get the annual parish meeting through in a timely manner, and we were finished before 1 pm. What would have happened if we had included the rest of readings and skipped the sermon? Would people have been confused by the logic of Romans 5:12-19?
Would we have needed an exposition on Psalm 32?
For those of us who missed it, I copied the readings from the Lectionary site in the links section of this blog.

Psalm 32 The Joy of Forgiveness Of David. A Maskil.
1Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
2Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
3While I kept silence, my body wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up* as by the heat of summer.
5Then I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not hide my iniquity;
I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’,
and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
6Therefore let all who are faithful
offer prayer to you;
at a time of distress,* the rush of mighty waters
shall not reach them.
7You are a hiding-place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with glad cries of deliverance.
8I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
9Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle,
else it will not stay near you.
10Many are the torments of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord.
11Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart.

Romans 5:12-19
12 Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death came through sin, and so death spread to all because all have sinned— 13sin was indeed in the world before the law, but sin is not reckoned when there is no law. 14Yet death exercised dominion from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sins were not like the transgression of Adam, who is a type of the one who was to come.
15 But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died through the one man’s trespass, much more surely have the grace of God and the free gift in the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, abounded for the many. 16And the free gift is not like the effect of the one man’s sin. For the judgement following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brings justification. 17If, because of the one man’s trespass, death exercised dominion through that one, much more surely will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness exercise dominion in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.
18 Therefore just as one man’s trespass led to condemnation for all, so one man’s act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all. 19For just as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.

Okay, maybe the Romans reading could have been trimmed to verses 18-19, and maybe the Psalm could have been trimmed to verses 8 and 9 (for the new Vestry members).

During today's sermon I noticed the attempt to de-emphasize "temptation" and to rewrite sinfulness by removing anything pertaining to sexuality as a subject of discussion.
I think Charlie was headed in the right direction at times during his sermon, but failed to capitalize on the opportunity to point out that while Genesis shows the original sin in all of us, and the way we respond to temptation, Jesus shows us how we should respond to temptation. There, I just tried to do in one sentence what might take 15-20 minutes of non scripted talking to accomplish. I challenge you to try to do the same.

Ash Wednesday Service

This year Charlie gave the Homily at Grace Lutheran Church in our annual shared Ash Wednesday service with the Lutherans. He did a good job. I gave him a pass when he used one dirty word, the word "dirty" when it came to describe the smudges he put on our foreheads. Overall, he was much more positive about this Lent than previous attempts at Grace Lutheran. I am afraid the Lutherans have gone contempo. I noticed a large modern drum set next to the organ. Fortunately we did not have a contemporary service, and it was nice of them to put together a new Hymnal with more familiar music. I am sure they did that just for us. And I thought Lutheran music was just derived from an Oompah band.

A Very Unique Stewardship Story

Imagine no pledge drive, no steardship committee, just a bunch of folks praying that the Lord will provide. And in charge a Lumpkin! Click on the title for the story.

You've Got a Friend in Me

Today we began having worship services in Lumpkin Hall as the Church sanctuary has been gutted. Wandering into the old sanctuary and looking at the exposed brick that lay behind the old paneling, I had to wonder, why not just leave the brick exposed? Now that would save some money, and be visually and architecturally interesting. Who needs insulation and new paneling anyway? All that wood will be a fire hazard, and any insulation will create an environmental health issue for future generations.
As we juggled prayer books, bulletins, and hymnals, it seems that we should provide a full printed program for visitors. By producing a limited number, printing costs would be reduced, and a program complete with handy explanations could be reproduced easily by some volunteers so that we would not have the rector troubled with this task.
How about the slow process of feeding the choirs the wafer and wine? It looked like a traffic jam up there. Changes will have to be made.
Today's sermon was delivered by Fr. Dunbar. He did a great job tying the lessons together, reminding us of the relationships between Jesus and his friends, and asking us to go into Lent remembering to follow Jesus' commands to follow Him, and to love one another. Did Bobby mean for us to sing to Jesus the Randy Newman song "You've Got a Friend in Me" for the next 40 days?