The Parable of the Shrewd Priest

This Sunday's Gospel reading is from Luke 16:1-13 in which we hear the parable of the shrewd manager. After you study Luke's text, bear with me as I tell the parable of the shrewd priest.

Then Jesus said to the disciples, ‘There was a rich man who had a manager, and charges were brought to him that this man was squandering his property. So he summoned him and said to him, “What is this that I hear about you? Give me an account of your management, because you cannot be my manager any longer.” Then the manager said to himself, “What will I do, now that my master is taking the position away from me? I am not strong enough to dig, and I am ashamed to beg. I have decided what to do so that, when I am dismissed as manager, people may welcome me into their homes.” So, summoning his master’s debtors one by one, he asked the first, “How much do you owe my master?” He answered, “A hundred jugs of olive oil.” He said to him, “Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it fifty.” Then he asked another, “And how much do you owe?” He replied, “A hundred containers of wheat.” He said to him, “Take your bill and make it eighty.” And his master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly; for the children of this age are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than are the children of light. And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of dishonest wealth* so that when it is gone, they may welcome you into the eternal homes.
 ‘Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and whoever is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much. If then you have not been faithful with the dishonest wealth,* who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful with what belongs to another, who will give you what is your own? No slave can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.’

So here is the parable of the shrewd priest.

There was a revisionist priest,and charges of heresy and apostasy had been raised by parishioners who had voted with their feet and left that priest's church. The Bishop learned of the charges and saw the parish rolls and the money pledged to the Diocese declining so he called in that priest. "I am defrocking you for you have led people astray and are costing me money!" The priest then said to himself, "What will I do now? I have no backbone so I cannot work construction, and I have too much education to flip burgers. I know what I'll do. I will go to those who left the church because of me and take back what I said. He went to the first one and asked, "What offended you?" He answered, "You said there was no Devil." The ex-priest said, "I was wrong. I have sinned against God and my neighbor." The ex-parishioner answered, "I forgive you." The former priest asked another, "What offended you?" The ex-parishioner answered him saying, "You said that people weren't meant to stay married for fifty years and that the church got it right when divorce was liberalized." The ex-priest said, "I was wrong. I have sinned against God and my neighbor." The ex-parishioner answered, "I forgive you."And so it went, on and on to countless others. And you know what? One of those people gave him a job!  

What a shrewd priest. I hope he really meant it.

No priest can serve two masters. You cannot serve God and revisionism.